Social Suicide?

Photo by Marc Schäfer on Unsplash

So before we begin let’s all take a deep breath in, hold for three, then…release, because this topic in itself is quite a heavy one if you’ve been feeling the way I was a few weeks ago.
Now if you’ve been a secret reader or arrived here from my old Insta you’ll know that I’ve been pretty consistent with my messages of self love, finding your voice and all that other new age shit that social media is saturated with.

Now, this isn’t to say I don’t stand by them anymore, but I’m definitely finding that I’m just as susceptible to losing myself in the sea of ‘achievers’ that is social media as anyone else.

Being a private person I’ve always had a like/hate relationship with the idea of maintaining a persona to appear happy and/or successful. That mixed with sprinkle of anxiety and you can see why social media (Instagram in particular) wasn’t going to work for me the way it seemed to work for everyone else. But there I was, posing and posting, because that’s what they say you should be doing in order to ‘make it’.

When I started Instagram I went into it with the intention of showcasing my writing, which I initially did. And if I’m honest I really did enjoy it, I was excited about my promising future. But very quickly I realised that there were rules to the ‘likes’ game. I became more obsessed about generating likes and building a following instead of what I was actually writing.  I also started noticing that a lot, if not all of my drive derived from the guilt of not doing as much as everyone else appeared be, and dare I say it, envy.
Now in my right mind I knew I was doing just fine, great even, but at this point we all know what social media is about…stunting. In other words, it’s not an honest representation of our actual lives.
Then why the fuck am I tripping? I would ask. It isn’t real.
I was tripping because try as I might I still felt it. The life comparisons, the ‘should I be doing it this way?’ insteads I was tripping because let’s be real, none of us are really comparing our lives to Kim Kardashian are we? No. Instead we’re keeping up with our klangs, our peers, the Joneses, and for whatever reason they tend to be direct indicators of where we believe should be. This obviously isn’t the greatest way to live but if you’re a creative, it can be detrimental, as in it quite literally stalls your creativity and in turn, whatever goal you thought you had.

So what do you do if you’re feeling this way but you know you still need social media?

These are a few things that have helped me:

1.     One Size Doesn’t Fit All

Instagram isn’t for everybody and neither is Twitter or Facebook. It’s ok to not be on every platform. Which one of them suits your personality? After years of trying to be comfortable with Instagram I’ve found a home on Twitter (@meemeeyeboah) which actually makes a lot of sense to me considering I’m a writer (and very argumentative…and hilarious btw)

But for some, Instagram fits their personality type more as they’re visual people, and every oversharer has a home on Facebook, so there we have it! Ha ha

Finding a platform that works for your personality type makes it feel less like work (God knows it requires energy!) and more like socialising, so when promoting your projects there’s less pressure to follow the ‘social media handbook’

2.     Hide, Block, Unfollow - Out of sight, Out of mind

Before I deleted Instagram altogether (i’m contemplating returning but that’s for another day) I stopped watching other people’s stories and/or muted certain pages, especially those that make me feel a way, and honest to God I instantly felt better. Reason being, if you can’t see what others are doing there’s no one to compare yourself to.

3.     Spiritual Selection

No matter which platform you decide to use be very selective about who you follow, because at the end of the day to follow someone suggests they’re leading you. And where are these pages leading you too? Do they inspire you or just make you feel useless. My advice is, even if you find it’s some of your friends making you feel this way then feel the fear and hide them anyway. There’s nothing wrong with letting them know you’ve been going through it and just need to re-centre

4.     You’re Not The Only One

So when I was deciding whether or not to delete the app I did a little research out of fear, and I discovered that as creatives we all go through peaks and troughs; mentally, creatively and spirituality, even your Insta faves! Meaning whoever you think is winning in life, may feel like they’re failing compared to whoever they’re a disciple for. Most of us are battling with ourselves internally, and with the growing epidemic of mental health issues surrounding social media it’s very important to identify which triggers you have and why. Is it worth it?

5.     Find Your Lane

This is the absolute most important point in my eyes and I here’s why:

Everyone out there makes you believe that you need social media, and if you don’t have it no one will ever see your work. Gurl! Do not fall into this belief system. Deleting Instagram made me ask a very important question which changed everything for me.

If this is the only way to make it in the modern world then how do I make it without it. Asking this question instantly made the world feel huge, like the possibilities are endless.

What’s stopping you contacting companies directly? Forgetting the middleman and going straight to the boss? What happened to getting friendly with the assistant or good old fashion networking events?

Social media makes us lazy when it comes to the things we should be proactive about and makes us waste time on the things we don’t actually benefit from.

Stop waiting to be discovered, and discover what is out there! J

With that being said happy creating!!!

Mimi…