Listen, I don’t know who was the 1st commissioned to go around inducing the fear of age in us but I’m telling you now the shit is not OK. And actually, I’m a bit pissed off if I’m honest and I’ll tell you why… I built 30 up. Guys, I built it up until there was no denying to myself or anyone else that the milestones I was meant to have reached by this point would not be reached; no mortgage, no potential mate in sight, shit, not even a pregnancy scare. In fact this month last year I walked into my 30’s unemployed and doing an internship (yes, an internship), in a bid to discover whether there was still a chance for me to make something of myself yet. However as I complete my 1st full week as a 31 year old, what has really pissed me off is the fact that the last year has really been the absolute best. My god, I actually thought a piece of me would’ve died if I reached this point in life and not achieved a solid career path, motherhood and marriage.

But you see, now that I’m here, I’m in a weird space where I have never been more content with life. At the same time though, because of this level of contentment, I also feel ready for all of the above, I’m open to what life has to offer and somewhat living it. I personally feel like as much as it’s never explicitly said, there’s this horrible notion that if you haven’t accomplished life by 30 you’re a lost cause, you’ve missed the boat, done. But there’s also the idea that if you have achieved those things you somehow don’t have any other desires or ambitions to work towards, when that’s just not true.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are valid reasons why people (particularly women), develop anxiety surrounding age; there’s the fear of running out of time to begin new paths, ie career or ending an unfulfilling relationship to start another, not to mention a lot of our peers start looking like they’re adulating better than we are and our biological clock is constantly ticking away. But what is the alternatives sis? Sitting around wasting time viewing the rest of your life a write-off? Absolutely not. Cliche, but milestone or no milestone we have an obligation to make our lives meaningful to us no matter the point we’re at. And sometimes the hardest thing to do is accept that yes, its not as you might have pictured it but you’re here now, so what are you going to do? Truth is, even as I say all of this I think if fate has it that if having children becomes no longer an option a piece of me would legit die. And I do know older women who don’t have children and live great lives so I hold onto that but considering at 15 I predicted that at this point i’d at least be on my 2nd with a doting husband while running some kind of empire I can let that one hang around. But among other things, the past year has taught me that you really do just have to roll with it and live, without blaming people for opportunities or relationships you missed, including yourself and set out a new path if that’s what you truly want.

If anything, the anticipation of this moment has been far more traumatizing than the reality. Because so far, my 30’s haven’t been bad at all, in fact so far it’s been the complete opposite. Saying yes more, working on self, plus, having mature friends who arent afraid to reveal their own triumphs and fears has also put a lot in perspective like, I’m really feeling myself these days and i’m excited about the rest of what the decade has to offer as I continue to journey through the woman I’m becoming, and that feels good. May it continue…

Love Mimi…